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goodbye old love. [Dec. 15th, 2003|03:47 pm]
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(no subject) [Dec. 13th, 2003|11:39 am]
[mood |happyhappy]
[music |matchbook romance - promise]

today is my birthday.


and pickles are yummy.

and ive got a new lj, http://www.livejournal.com/users/_notfun so, add me - because im soon going to start using that one.

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...if the whole world is my enemy ill feel no remorse [Dec. 10th, 2003|08:10 pm]
[mood |sleepysleepy]
[music |lucky boys confusion - of course]

so i had some symptoms of the flu.. blah blah blah.. but that still doesnt explain what happened, so i wasted 2 hours at the clinic that i could have used to sleep or anything that needed attention. i got two shots. one flu shot and one shot that i was supposed to get a couple of months ago that i didnt know about. ok... now i dont mind piercings or needles really.. but im horrified of getting shots. people know this - yes, it seems weird, but i dont know.. kind of goes along with my horrification(haha) of taking medicine. and now my right arm is just kind of.. there. and it hurts. but oh well. im glad thats over with. i got some more ibuprofen for the migraines, and scheduled an appointment for soon. im hoping that little episode i went through was just an episode and never happens again. i didnt goto school today, just kind of slept and listened to music - which chilled me out. ive still got a full-assed migraine and my throat hurts like a bitch, but i can deal with it.

i called aaron, no one answered. i called him saturday and he wasnt home. i do want to see the kid, and i do want to be with him, ya know? but this is getting kind of difficult. whats the use of having a boyfriend if you dont see or talk to him? when i find ways to see him so that my mom wont find out, he isnt there.. when i finally get to call him and talk to him, he isnt there.. he told me that even if he only got to see me once a year he would still want to be with me.. thats all fine and dandy and super sweet - but a girl gets lonely. its so much more lonier when you have a boyfriend and cant see/talk to him. i spend to much time and effort with this... but i cant help it.

i need to straighten up my room, but i just want to go curl up in my comforter on my bed and sleep. and school is not going to be fun tomorrow. ehh, i scanned and took tons of pictures during my lonesome hours. and my birthday is in 3 days. on saturday. still - no plans.. but i havent talked to anyone. and i am miranda's secret santa, i feel cool. but what to get her? i have noo clue.

just a few lines to say im sorryCollapse )

ehh, im leaving. <3...tiffani
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never let me go [Dec. 9th, 2003|07:32 pm]
[mood |scaredscared]
[music |matchbook romance - promise]

ive had a really bad migraine since friday.. and my head was pounding in study hall 1st bell.. so i closed my eyes and put my head in my hands.. and i kept feeling like i was going to throw up, i had sharp pains in my stomach and in my chest... i checked my watch to see what time it was and it was 8:16.. then i just blacked out and right before i opend my eyes i thought i was shaking and i kept hearing screams then i open my eyes 2 minutes later and i cant see straight. im looking around and no one is looking at me so im really weirded out because i could have sworn that i was shaking and that me or someone else was screaming and then the bell rings and im sweating and extremely cold and i couldnt walk and i was really dizzy and i asked liz to hold my books and i sat down at a lunch table... then got back up again and walked some then sat back down on another and liz asked me if i was ok.. and i wasnt sure what was going on... so she went to the nurses office and i was sitting at the lunch table freaking out, trying not to cry... but cami walked by and said hi, and i realized it was her and i told her she had to take me to the nurse so she grabbed my hand and helped my walk up the steps and took me to the office and i couldnt breath and i was pale and i just sat in the nurses office for four hours gagging and i could barely breath and my head was pounding.the whole time i was in the nurses office just certain things would happen like id almost throw up, or i couldnt open my eyes, and then id get really cold and sweaty... but my migraine is still here. i was fine before this.. i mean yah i had a migraine and the weathers been giving me a sore throat and the like... but eep.

it was by far the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. i didnt have a fever, and im really not sure what was wrong. my parents didnt pick me up until 11:30... which sucked.. because i didnt want to be at school still if i went through another one of those full episodes again. my mom made me an appointment for the doctors tomorrow at 2:40PM, and im kind of afraid to go back to school tomorrow before i figure out why that happened. and my mom prob wont make me go. i dont think they believe me... but i wouldnt lie about something that scared me so much.. i was telling my mom what happened and i was tearing up.. i dont know. nothing like this has ever happened to me, besides panic attacks.. but this was soo different. i dont know.

ehh. all so strange.

richie called me. he is the greatest alive. helped me calm down some. talked to me. ehh, he is just the coolest cat. im sending him goodies for christmas. shall be fun. oolala, and saturday is my birthday. another birthday alone? pretty sure.

nothing else to say. i need a hug. stay cool.

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(no subject) [Dec. 7th, 2003|07:48 pm]
[mood |artisticartistic]
[music |tv(wow, i barely watch actual TV)]

i have successfully...
- started my latin project
- watched the last of my new dvds
- made up with ashley
- made my shoes not go flop
- made my shoes smelly nummy
- finished sowing my doll & sowing the eyes on
- cleaned my room
- studied for my history quiz
- changed my bed sheets!
- started a new collage on my wall
- took some super sexy pictures
- found an outfit for tomorrow
- dyed my hair
- filed down all my nails so they can regrow
- changed the lightbulb in my room

wow. i accomplished alot this weekend. awesome. im kind of proud of myself. i left my white sweater and scarf over tiffianys house & i dont feel like going over there. im gonna make her bring it over here, because i always take her stuff & go over her house. blah. my mom bought me 2 new black pocket shirts *squeezes* and a pretty blue and gray sweatshirt. makes me happy. she bought me some pants, but they dont fit =\ so yah.
there is baby powder all over my floor, and thats not good. i am watching 60minutes, mwahah, and next some crazy movie on tv... im a loser. ehh, i found something else ive been successful at today.. not going outside nor associating with anyone besides the internet. i dont like being online. im antisocial online, however weird that seems, but i do not know why. lost interest. my away message talks to more people than i do. that is sad. bleh. my birthday is next saturday. wow. the 13th of december. doubt ill be doing anything. my "friends" bailed on me to be with their boyfriends. i probably wont be spending that day with my "boyfriend" because he could give a shit less than me. someone buy me some crest white strips.. hehe. i need to goto the dentist. and i have a doctors appointment in january.. although i was sick a week ago... and asked my mom to schedule it for then because i wanted the doctor to give me something for being sick because i wasnt sure what was wrong. sometimes i wonder...
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(no subject) [Dec. 5th, 2003|07:42 pm]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |a static lullaby - lipgloss and letdown]

i want to do something tonight. this weekend. i dont care. im tired of being here - all alone - day after day. someone help me escape? please?

there were 2 wrecks on my street today. apparently someone died. lucky them. i almost got hit by a car this morning, HELLO.. its a red light for a meaning.. and this afternoon because there was no crosswalk at the bus stop i had to get off at. he had to take elberon instead of the regular river road way, sniffles, and i almost got killed and had to walk down a bunch of citysteps. but i <3 those steps.. remind me of when my happy childhood. it was raining though, and i was really cold. i wasnt hungry today, but i had to eat. my tummy was making those sounds, and it scared me. i think i have symptoms of the flu? or maybe im just paranoid? ive got to goto the gym @ 10am. sucks, but ehh, at least ill feel all energized tomorrow. energized for nothing. i doubt ill get to see aaron because ive only talked to him once this week, and he just basically ignored me the whole time, and im not sure im going to call him. maybe he just wants me because he knows how horribly i am in love with him and he feels the same or he just wants sex. i think he just wants sex. which is funny. silly me. what am i supposed to do? oh well. dont really care honestly. i finished my doll in art. im happy. im starting on my latin project tonight, maybe, if i dont go over tiffianys house. i wish id taken photography last year. i love photography. photos make me have warmfuzzies. this is all about nothing. makes no sense. i just dont care. bllllah.

if only i was as invisible as you make me feel

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(no subject) [Dec. 4th, 2003|04:51 pm]
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |lost prophets - the fake sound of progress]

im such a loser. i feel like such a nerd. 9 days until my birthday. wee.

my moms done nonstop bitching at me for the past couple of daays. hey, mom, suck my cock. i dont know what the fuck is up her house, and im quite afraid to ask.

its horribly cold outside and my feet are yet. its horribly cold inside because of these cheap bastards i live with. i went to bed last night with 3 comforters, 2 pairs of socks, my cow pjs, and a biiiig sweater. and was still FREEZING my ass off. assholes. thats ok though, i actually like being cold and being under layers of shtuff. i like layers. yay.

the bus was weird today. aww, our today was our lovely busdriver debbies last day, and it was sad, and she said "i love you bunches tiffani, merry christmas, and be safe and ill come back soon" and then i hugged her and she kissed me on the cheek and bye. aww. i wish i wasnt such a loser, but it was just sweet. that was like.. 1 out of 5566546547457457 bus drivers that have ever been THAT cool. she took us to mcdonalds, but i stayed on the bus with josh. wow. what a fun time.

i need to do some homework... like.. now. im supposed to be going to the gym today, ya know.. because i want to be an anorexic whore (my mom asked me this question, and ya know what.. she is a retard) but i doubt my mom will want to go. but i really want to. i like the gym. i feel alllll better afterwards, and all revived and just.. like i can breath. blah.
i know i am happier now, but i still feel sad... too much stuff going on right now. guys are just the most confusing creatures.. and me being a girl - all emotional and just PMS central and overally- doesnt contribute to anything. just sucks. why? but nothing more about that, i just dont have the energy.

tiffiany got into a car accident today with danielle. she isnt hurt, but i dunno why she would be so stupid as to ride with danielle. i dont really like danielle all that much. she is annoying and lies too much for me. im not attracted to people that lie in order to uphold their status and reputation or to get ahead in life and the like. doesnt float my boat.

im hungry. and i just ate popcorn. mm. i want more chinesefood. <3333chinesefood. too much for my own good i suppose. the pants i wore today had safety pins in the crotch. thats what i get for letting tiffiany "sow" them. hehe. and i stole cami's lovely scarf. i love it alot. its preeeeetttty. ehh.

i do believe richie got his braces off. yay. richie is lovely, and the best. ooo, james got his braces off too, teehee. seexxy seexxy people. i dont like my teeth. they need to be more white.

i wish i had enough balls to try out for a play or anything of the sort. tiffani does not have balls, but do not tell everyone. k? thanks.

MY house was on the news during the summer. apparently they thought our banana trees were exotic (i almost wrote erotic) and that the other plants in the yard were spiff. thats funny that i just got told that. i suck. and im slow as ever. wouldnt it.. well, i just totally forgot what i was going to write. whores.

english was fun today. ms. brennan is a silly cunt and i hope she busts a hip bending over. yes i do. aubrey "baaaaa" classic. your so adorable. i dont really remember every other class.. just that i felt really stupid and small today. and the fucking clocks arent working, and i get so confused, and i want to cry.

i had the worst headache all day. i was very dizzy and the light was killing me. i think i need glasses too. i felt like croaking in the middle of latin. i could have just died right there. fuckin crazy ass weather and all of these bullshit problems. i made my mom get me a dentist and doctor appointment. im gonna have to get another catskan. sniffles. they scare me. tiffi = clausterphobic (damn i cant spell), but yah.. this is too long. boy do i love you all.

vacuum is a funny word.
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(no subject) [Nov. 30th, 2003|07:52 pm]
[mood |dorkydorky]
[music |eamon - fuck it]

the song fuck it by eamon is a good song. and normally tiffi dearest doesnt listen to r&b. strange. oh well. you should download it, because its good.

the bengals won today, doode i love football. im such a football watching whore. oh well. i enjoy it, so bite my ass.

i really dont want to go back to school tomorrow, its going to be a tadbit weird because of recent happenings. blah. kind of bored right now. i prob wont be able to talk to aaron all this week.. for reasons.. so i wish he'd call me or something right now so i could talk to his silly ass. i dont like calling him, ehh, i feel like a stalker or something. lol. plus he isnt home.. so yah. im gonna bring my latin shit home tomorrow so i can start on my project. ehh, 2more weeks until my birthday. yippy, i suppose. ehh, my mom is sad because im growing up... she told me i could only go on double dates and she has to drive me when i turn 15.. lol, at least i get to be more honest with her, without sneaking around and shit... mom is funny. according to my scale at home, only 3 more pounds and i can get my bellybutton pierced. haha. fucking mom wont lemme get my lip pierced :(. ehhh, ill convince her soon enough.. its been forever since i washed my hair. dirty dirty. but it feels and looks so pretty, and it smells nummy. ehh. i watched the hulk today, wasnt too bad of a movie.. ehh, and ive barely eaten anything all day.. and i need some god damnit minutes. fockers. im singing really loud, tis funny. ehh, at least my voice isnt cracking. i think im over my sickness, yippy... and i stepped on a thumbtack last night. fuck. hurt like a bitch.

anyways, none of that was important... so yah. im gonna leave now.
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(no subject) [Nov. 29th, 2003|10:43 pm]
[mood |coldcold]
[music |from autumn to ashes - the fiction we live]

so yah... tiffani is dating again. wow, i almost spelled my name wrong. yah, im dating aaron again. we are trying again, yup. ehh, damn i was so immature in the past. its nice to feel all sexy and special and loved. he makes me so unbareably happy. and im just glowing inside and out. i have never felt like this with anyone else. i love this kid too much. but he loves me too, so its all good.

hope everyone had an awesome thanksgiving. it didnt feel like it to me. id like to have everyone and everything that im thankful for surrounding me, and sharing my love and thanks with them.. then that would have been grand, but i suppose as long as nothing bad happened to anyone or myself, then it was perfect.

its cold as fuck in my room, and the cheapbastards downstairs wont turn on the heat. im gonna cry, and my nipples are friggin hard. HAHA. sorry.

yah, and now the 5day vacation from bullshit school is almost over. ehhh. i feel fat. i need to goto the gym. ive lost 56lbs, but i feel like ive gained half of it back. FUcking PMS! crackers. whores. bastards. damnit. im tired, but im gonna talk to my baby. goodnight i suppose lovers.

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(no subject) [Nov. 24th, 2003|03:47 pm]
[mood |soresore]
[music |from autumn to ashes - reflections]

wow. the concert last night was amazing.

rufio couldnt show up, because they had a death in one of the band members family, so they had to cancel. instead this not-so-good band punchline filled in for them. i would have much rather preferred rufio, but its cool. fallout boy came out, and they rocked. auriel didnt like them, but oh well, tiffiany and i had a blast. booooooooy it was awesome. then lessthanjake.. id have to say they are an awesome band and even more awesome live. i dont think i stopped jumping up and down and pushing people and just having a good time. tiffiany crowd surfed, which was the best. shes so adorable. i wish i could write more, but ive got a concert hangover. raspy voice, headache, dehydrated, and my calves hurt. and ive got to go see my trainer tonight. HAHAHA. i also only went half a day today.. ehh, and then ill just go all day tomorrow. no problem. eep, gotta history test tomorrw.. and its COLD as fuck outside. and my biology grade is an 88.1.. and im trying to bring that focker to at the VERY least a 90, yaah, im gonna get an A in bio, just wait. eep. ms. brennan is a whore.. ok, its cold as fuck, im jumping back in my bed.

*i forgot to take a camera :( but we are only about 5 feet from the stage, and daniel got some pictures.. im hoping her friend sara got some good pictures too. i really wish i would have had a camera :(, damn that was awesome*

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